Gotham City Revisited

Presidental Band Names

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 06:34:48 GMT

Calvin Cooledge Excuse My Droolage

The Jimmy Carter Family Starter

The Taft Band (William and the Shafted Tafts)

Quincy Jones Adams the Apple

Zachery Taylor and the Stomach Failure

Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments (real name)

Dead Kennedys (whoops)

Naked Raygun (whoops)

Mallard Fillmore and the Peons

Uylssyes S Grant and the Hufflepuff Pant

Fats Garfield

Fats Garfield II

LBJ and the Breakaways

The Clinton Cadavars and the Saxophone Matters

James K Polk and the Zulu Nation (or maybe The agitated folks of Jame K Polk)

Ike Dike n Hauer

and last but not least...

WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON AND THE FUCK YOU BRIGADE!

Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Fara Fawcett, Ed McMahon and that other guy and the end of the world.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 01:33:46 GMT

Michael Jacksons dead.

Let that sink in for a second. The arguably biggest pop star of history dead at 50-and somehow ended up in debt. Crazy-I remember watching his movie Moonwalker all the time when i was younger, thinking that was the greatest thing ever, and now that's a distant memory. Whether you liked the guy or not, he basically shaped how musics played and filtered on MTV and in pop in general. I still dont know how I feel about it all, but I know as soon as I heard, it made me start thinking of my own mortality and how fragile life is (if a multi platinum pop star can die that doesnt really seem to bode well for the rest of us). But this hit me in a different way, like the way I felt when I watched Synecdoche N.Y, shit is ending shit is inevitable-we have just a blip to live, and do it right. 70 years in 70 billion. Its 2009, and if all the Mayan shit about the world ending in 2012 is right (for arguments sake) I'd like to take all the advantages offered to me or ones I can create, because what all this random death is telling me is that we can't take the same things for granted, in order to become an enlightened individual one must make amends with the past and focus on whats best for the moment and the near future. I dont really like what I see within the greater scope of humanity today, and my general picture of whats coming for us is fairly bleak-but it certainly doesnt have to be-so if you happen to read this, think about your own mortality and don't sweat the trivial ego induced bullshit that fabricates our existence and think about where you want to see yourself go-because we all inevitably come along for the ride as well-even if our paths don't converge.

Shit

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:54:15 GMT

Isnt there a Green day song for days like these?

The Conversation Quagmire

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 07:11:55 GMT

Interjected uhs
quiet business sighs of people you dont like and perhaps never knew
I build to pull apart, to spring free new ideas and ways of looking
that often goes lost

I wont bore you with unneccesary words
like so many before me, this is not narcissism and self indulgence
except it is, and when is it not

When will you open your eyes
to the fact
that the very thing that seperates us
(distance is only an aesthetic wall)
is what we hold most in common
So how will you spend those seconds, minutes, hours, daze, years
everything you know will change, and this is the only truth
be humbled.

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 06:49:08 GMT

"With coarse rice to eat,
with water to drink,
and my crooked arm for a pillow - is not joy to be found therein?
Riches and honors acquired through unrighteousness are to me as the floating clouds"

Confucius

Some crap

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 22:03:29 GMT

I had two ideas for new episodes of South Park-

1) Randy and Stan have to break up a fight between Charles Barkley and Knarls Barkley, after Charles Barkley finds out about them and doesnt like them poking fun at his name, which leads to a Basketball game/wild west shootout and at the end Kenny gets killed by jumping in the middle of it.

2)Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny just make fun of Ghosthunters and T.A.P.S. Thats the whole premise.

I should be a damn writer!

LIVE FROM WORK!

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:00:29 GMT

UPDATE!

Sports

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 03:04:48 GMT

Professional atheles are crybaby whiny way overpaid pieces of shit. If someone offered me $45 Million for 2 years to hit a baseball and play defense, I wouldnt act like Im doing them a favor. Pieces of shit.

More esoteric rantings from a restless mind

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 06:16:45 GMT

Hooker Bites (or 3 People in a Loving, Caring Relationship)
What does it say about Christians,
if its better to be a dog in Islam than a cradled cat by Egyptians,
If wealth is found in the obese, the dying
sick are the skinny depraved and diseased
Unclot the dots that pop like energy drink blood thinner
coagulate cells post surgically in your Sunday Ham dinner
found prescription parchment graying in health lies
bloating and dissapating like blues for the gray skies
co-ed skinny legs advertise in neon lighting "no vacancy",
subtle reciprocal death stares in the face of complacency, staves
potbellied broiled and buried in black soil
foil social workers to a boil,
so even in photoshop global warming pictures cut and cropped,
this coming epidemic cannot be stopped, like blood
being spilled on the cement and mopped
this coming epidemic cannot be stopped

clever couplets coupled in vain,
voyeuristically bandaging denial and shame should the blade
drop too soon
field of redundancies not an industry boom but a Gorilla Monsoon
2 words, seldom heard
reushers a new culture shepard for the drowning herds
you forget-
ths is our world too
anticipation is met but dues are due
and only fools
descend upon a hopeless point of view
no room for change but a calling all the same
on tv
in twitter box world of warcraft fantasy, in baseball templar candy baskets
disguised as call of duty iron caskets
your simple ignorance, masked as fantasitical elitist sass,
frumped by the leveraging elephants and the ignorant ass,
simply will not pass.

Dudes

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 04:50:40 GMT

Go see Heavy Metal in Baghdad. It's amazing...I almost cried :(

Hauh hauh hauh

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 22:25:43 GMT

You're just another victim, just another victim, kid. Helmets the shit

Something Neat

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 22:50:35 GMT

I think this is pretty interesting...

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?sec=health&res=9E0DEFD61538F934A3575AC0A9659C8B63

Celestial Greetings (The Crossover)

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:19:56 GMT

So much for the Ozone layer, so lies layers of royal stained skies
bad beats backdrop in disharmonious bursts, rappers named Lil Wayne first,
through pulsating pathways to dance club doors, through
titty glitter tequila breath and wax lipped whores, while pieces missing
mixed mashedly in haste, hurting forever to let it all go to waste,
trumped political trapaise artists tango in the thoroughfare
frolicking gayly in a 1000 yd. stare
studiously serving self proclaimed interests that rest within reach
of curiously placed sweater vests, and big breasts bested in bouts of boyant bulemia
agast agnostic jousts of amble anemia
fortudious fortitude prefunctory at functions of fake Islamic fucking
sounds like silence and Sarah Silverman sucking,
well read readers reach conclusions like rusty pipes,
including those fake, scenester Hemmingway types
that don't really exist except everywhere
eluding educated editors ejudicated ejaculate driping from their jowels
while bulbous brown shit drops from their bowels
bowling over burial ground gutters
getting gutter ball strikes to haunt each other
castigate nouns colluding conspiratorial words,
person, place and things not overhead
ominous oscillating fans oscillate ominiously
reified beliefs react wretched and recombinantly
a swift kick in the culture oven earns praise outbid for more
masking morbid curiousity as to what the fuck it's even there for
Celestial Greetings.

Whats it all for? (Not Really)

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 07:33:39 GMT

I was having an existential crisis and I was going to write all about it here, but I decided Im not. Really..not too much-not right now-thanks Mary!

Top 5

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:53:00 GMT

People I feel should be Roasted by the Friars Club (Larry the Cable Guy does not count):

5Dave Chappelle
4Tyler Perry
3Chris Rock
2Donald Trump
1Dane Cook

Thats all!

The Post Script to Obama and the fucking idiocy of Iconoclasts

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:49:42 GMT

Ok let me be frank: Obama as our 44th president-President Obama (ahhh that feels good to say) is a great thing, the best thing that could happen for this country. If Kerry had been elected in 2004 I'd bet my bottom dollar political apathy would be rampant-no excitement, no change, not even the potential for change. Overall it's great---however what I have a PROBLEM with is the incessant amount of horseshit marketing and college coed celebratizing (im sure thats a word) occuring-Obama in many ways represents something intangible to many people-he's a symbol, he's a catalyst but not because of his actions yet...look if you're going to idolize someone idolize Mother Teresa, Gandhi or even your parents. They'r e the ones who are there for you, Obama will not be there for you when you lose your job/house/sig. other etc. On second thought you can idolize him, I spose, but don't buy a shoulder bag with Obamas face in red/blue hue just for the hell of it. Put money into educating yourself on the issues, not on Obama guess jeans or Scarface esque t-shirts depicting an Al Pacino-ish Obama...Or do, but at least have the courteosy to know know that you're a fuckin douchebag.

UPDATE!

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:38:26 GMT

Happy Late New Year to all!

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 03:32:44 GMT

C.C FUCKING SABBATHIA!!! No one who reads this will care, but still. It'll be nice to see the Brew Crew in the World Series once again!

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 05:11:23 GMT

The Man. The Legend. Theres not many people alive today who really deserve a full blown tribute, but George Carlin was one of the few. What an unbelievably sad fucking day-someones hearing the 7 dirty words up there...

R.I.P George

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 05:06:43 GMT

What if the best position to be in
was shoved in the smallest crack in the wall
where claustrophobia kicks in
you will no longer breath
I can hear oxygen sing
Is it wrong to use despair
For our own personal gain
To fuel the fires in the guts
So happiness wasn't for you
it didn't come with the blood
Keep the slavery of despair
Get where you need to go
What if the best position to be in
Was shoved in the smallest crack in a wall
Where claustrophobia kicks in
Use them to get where you need to go
Heard you say if there's a flame
You'll burn every tree that you see
even the one you carved the lame
And the females name into
keep the slavery of despair
Get where you need to go
Frown all you give
You give them the best
Crooked smile is all you give
You give them the best

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:30:31 GMT

Its been Noahs Ark these last few days.
You've almost got me convinced you washed away in the flood.

wow

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 20:06:25 GMT

Yesterday was a really really out there day.

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 05:59:54 GMT

Im a pimp.
And pimps dont commit suicide.

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 09:35:02 GMT

...and the summers are drifting away

Sat, 31 May 2008 00:37:13 GMT

AHHHHHHHHHH FUCK Im probably missing Buckethead tonight. Im gonna throw a temper tantrum. Fuckin someone go with me!!!